How to express your undying love for the sweaty, red-faced woman jogging by:
- Stand at attention, right hand in a full and stiff salute.
- Step directly into her running path so that she either has to leap the decaying cat or dodge the wild khat trucks.
- Comment on how tired she must be.
- Comment on how her butt is jiggling.
- Have your friend shout (just loud enough to be heard but not loud enough to drown out your comments), “Aabo was! aabo was! Bonjour! Bonjour! Aabo was!” A rather confusing combination of Somali F-you and French hello.
- Have another friend ask if he may jog along with you. Be sure he uses an exaggerated hip sway.
- As the woman gets nearer, place your hand over your heart and shout so all the great, wide world can hear, “I love you too much!”
- When the woman ignores you, give her two thumbs up, and fight with your friends over which of you was more effective.
- Sometimes, but not always, whichever of you and your friends feel they have triumphed, feel free to holler a marriage proposal as she leaves you in her dust.
Its blurry, I’m okay with that. No one wants to be proposed to when they look like this.
What would you add to this list?
My addition? If you see her coming down the street, cross the street so you can be on the same side as her. And if she crosses to the other side to avoid you, cross back. Repeat as time allows so you can be sure you’re close enough for her to hear your comments as she runs by.
Yes -a wonderful strategy!