Here are the links I promised, to follow-up the post a few week ago: Damaged Goods, Sex, and Jesus.
This article also shares more links. But here are some I found that were interesting/helpful/from a variety of perspectives.
When it Should Be about Love (a man’s voice!)
In Which I Am Bowed Low (Sarah Bessey’s own follow-up)
In the Image of a Beautiful God (this is an older post of mine at SheLoves and is more about body image than sex, but seems to fit. We are not about our bodies or our desires)
In my hunt for global voices (meaning gender/country/religious affiliation diversity), I found this fabulous post by a Muslim woman. Disentangling the Virgin Whore Dichotomy.
I’m of that same youth group, purity ring, talk with mom and dad culture that Sarah Bessey wrote about in the initial post that sparked the web-storm. And I believe I am one of those who didn’t come out angry or bitter. Maybe they don’t comment as often, or maybe there aren’t many of us so it is easy to get the impression I’m the only one. But I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this and I think it comes down to a few things.
- My parents and church didn’t emphasize purity for purity’s sake. They emphasized Jesus and reading, studying, loving the word of God.
- My parents and church didn’t place one virtue over and above others. They were all to be aimed at and they were all unattainable in my own strength.
- My parents and my church made absolutely zero foolish promises about a future perfection in marriage based on maintaining a certain purity standard.
I will never say, and neither would they, that things were perfect. And I won’t say that I’ve been perfect or won that perfect marriage. In fact, I’ve been writing out some of the struggles and weakness and difficulties just this week as I concentrate on a few chapters in my book. But when it comes to these three things, I remain thankful.
How about you? More links? More thoughts?