gratitude

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Parents Need to Model Gratitude for TCKs

Quick link: Parents, Call Out the Beauty

Writing at A Life Overseas about how to help our kids see beauty, even in hard things.

I don’t think parents should ignore hard and ugly things where we live, but I know that what we emphasize, kids will emphasize. While we need to give our kids language for dealing with poverty and injustice and loneliness, we also need to model choosing gratitude. This might mean literally lifting up our eyes to see beyond garbage dumps to the mountains beyond.

Giving our kids a love for the unique beauty or kindness or hope in their place is a gift we give them.

I don’t know if there are studies about this or if it is purely anecdotal, but I have heard over and over that how kids respond to a life overseas is directly related to how parents, especially moms, respond to it.

No pressure, moms.

Seriously, no pressure. All is Grace.

But also, seriously, how ya doin’?

Some days are so full of purpose, language success, and cultural deepening that our joy overflows and we dance around the kitchen with our kids.

Some days are so lonely, breaking, hot, dusty, disappointing, and frustrating that if we had our first choice, we would be on the way to the airport right.now.

I absolutely think it is valuable to be honest and vulnerable about our struggles, but what we choose to emphasis around our children matters.

Especially when kids are little. As they grow and become teenagers, are able to see more nuance and are facing their own struggles, we can become more transparent about ours. But when kids are young, if we want them to thrive and enjoy living in our new location, we need to help them.

How?

Click here to read the rest, including several practical suggestions: Parents, Call Out the Beauty

Expatriates and the Comparison Trap

Quick link: The Expatriate Balance Sheet

At A Life Overseas today, writing about comparison and envy and the grass that’s always greener.

A friend visited me once, coming from a country further east. She brought boxed blueberry muffin mix, Cheerios, and other American brand name goodies. I thought, ‘oh, her life must be wonderful and easy.’ When she left, she packed a few cans of Dr. Pepper and bags of Doritos and thought, with such luxuries at my fingertips, ‘Rachel’s life must be so easy.’

I also read Under the Tuscan Sun, or From Paris to the Moon and I think, well of course they love being an expatriate. They live in Paris. They live in Tuscany. For crying out loud. What are they whining about?! This makes me feel both proud, look where I’ve lived! And sad, look at where I could have lived!

Expatriates easily succumb to this lie that the grass is always greener. This is especially true when there is no grass, like where I live. If you have grass, even dead grass, I guarantee you it is greener than my grass. That small truth aside, believing the euphemistic meaning of the phrase is dangerously easy.

*image via Wikimedia